“Utah Supreme Court tosses conviction of ‘wedgie’ killer”


That’s the real headline from the Salt Lake Tribune.

Wedgie killer?

Reality once again demonstrates that hoaxes can’t keep up. Truth is either stranger than fiction, or just better.

You just can’t make this stuff up:

The Utah Supreme Court today threw out the manslaughter conviction of Erik Kurtis Low, who killed a Park City man after the victim gave him a “wedgie.”

Low, now 40, claimed in his 2005 trial he was defending himself when he shot 38-year-old Michael Jon Hirschey following a night of drinking, drug use and horseplay.

Ah, the old drinking, drug use and horseplay excuse.

The Utah Supreme Court said the trial court erred in instructing the jury on possible sentences, giving the jury too many ways to find the man guilty. The conviction was tossed out. Prosecutors cannot retry on the old charges, but new charges are possible.

Watch that space. Accurate history is always better than the hoax stuff.

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5 Responses to “Utah Supreme Court tosses conviction of ‘wedgie’ killer”

  1. leeharrison says:

    ‘His use of deadly force was justified.’

    Er, no – it wasn’t. Hit the guy, kick him in the nuts, knock him out, break his nose, push him to the ground and kick seven hells out of him, whatever – but killing him was excessive. The guy used a gun against an unarmed man – he and his sore arse should be sharing a cell.

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  2. jrmarnie says:

    Thanks for bringing this to our attention, though I was to say, why not just return the wedgie with excessive force?!

    I found out recently today that a Russian woman killed her drunk husband by folding him up in the sofa bed ‘by accident’. Crushed to death instantly.

    truth 1 – 0 fiction :)

    JRMarnie

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  3. Just as in tort law, the aggressor takes his victim as he finds him. Though not discussed in most news stories, the shooter suffered from a severe case of external hemorrhoids that were ruptured during the wedgie application. The pain is unbearable, and feels like your bowels are being run through a meat grinder. His use of deadly force was justified.

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  4. No wedgie shall go unpunished… That’s the law of the land.

    I can just imagine the trial:

    Defendant: “Then he grabbed my underwear…
    Prosecutor: “Were you wearing low-waisted pants?
    Def: “Well yeah, you could say that
    Pros: “Come on, Mr. Low, you can do better than that! Where they in fact saggy-baggy pants?
    Def: “You could say that
    Pros: “Were you asking for a wedgie, Mr. Low? Were you?”

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  5. [...] Darrell at the inimitable Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub warns us of a horrific legal development: the Wedgie Killer had his conviction overturned! The [...]

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Play nice in the Bathtub -- splash no soap in anyone's eyes.

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