Dan Valentine – Romans in ballcaps

By Dan Valentine

Ensenada Backpacker. “The hostel of the city.”

Two Italian women – mid-twenties, thereabouts; both beautiful; full of life; educated – walk out of the women’s dorm room, after a night’s sleep.

They’ve been here a couple of days.

One blond, one dark-haired. They both speak several languages. Italian, German, English, Spanish. Fluently. Of course! (It’s a European thing.)

In the United States, we’re lucky to learn English.

“Where are you going today?” I asked. No need for an answer, really. It was early morning. I was making coffee.

“We don’t know yet,” said one. “It’s our last night.”

“Where are you going from here?” I asked. Just making conversation.

“South,” she said.

“Less Americans,” I quipped.

“That’s good!” she said, and meant it.

“I agree,” I said.

And they both laughed. No explanation needed. Humor is identification. And Italians, faster than others, should/can/do connect the dots.

In the eyes of the world, both north and south of the border, across the seven seas, in and around and in between, and to a growing number of citizens born and bred in the United States, we are looked upon as:

Romans in ballcaps!

Chain-store togas (“You’re gonna like what you wear”), Nike clogs.

A nation fast-galloping into its Ben-Hur phase …

Christians and others fed to the lions on “Dancing With the Stars”. Credit card money-lenders …

If Christ were to return any day soon, where do you think He’d end up?

Gitmo is a good guess. No nails but lots of water. If I remember right, Charlton Heston gave Him a much needed sip on His way to, well, you-know-where.

I, myself, think He’d be picked up as a babbling vagrant on the streets of a southern town, locked up in a prison cell at night, tending some rich cattleman’s herd during the day, a short ways from the facility, and after some twenty years – after a lawyer has proven Him innocent of all charges and collected a large fee – let go. Then, looking up to the heavens, I think He would say, “They do not know what they do. Get me the hell outta here.”

In short, deja vu all over again.

Romans in ballcaps.

4 Responses to Dan Valentine – Romans in ballcaps

  1. Nick K says:

    Apparently Hattip thinks that foreign countries like Iran, North Korea, and China for example all speak English so that there is no need for the US government to employ people who speak languages from those countries in order to monitor their communications and conduct other acts of espionage.

    And of course since everyone in China speaks English US companies don’t need people who can speak Chinese to conduct business over in China.

    For example.

    You can engage in this nationalistic jingoistic right wing nonsense all you want, Hattip, but you’re only endangering the United States by your fascist bullshit. You are making yourself out to be the threat to the United States.


  2. Ed Darrell says:

    If Jesus came down to Earth and healed an ill child, Hattip would call Jesus “a childish, self-hating, anti-American, anti-adult little twerp.” Then Hattip would complain that Jesus hadn’t cured Hattip when Hattip was a child.

    And then we’d be closer to knowing something of value from Hattip than we’ve ever gotten in the past.

    Hattip, the destruction of American education has been attempted by conservative, Republican politicians for the last 100 years. They complained when we built the schools and banned child labor that the factories would go wanting for workers and have to shut down. They complained when we required kids to stay in school and graduate that the nation would not have any manual workers, and that the demand for college education would outstrip the supply — and what would we do with all those essays on Shakespeare, anyway? They complained when we paid for the education of soldiers-into-engineers that we’d devalue engineering. They complained at the invention of the transistor, by those same guys, that rock and roll would ruin the nation.

    Every disaster in U.S. education has had a Republican at the helm, from the destruction of California’s colleges, universities and elementary and secondary schools under Ronald Reagan, to the evisceration of the idea of education under George Bush, in Texas first, and then in the nation.

    “Lucky to learn English” is true, in a system that pretends kids don’t come from other nations, and where teachers are provided incentives to produce good bubble-guessers instead of people who can read a poem.

    You don’t see the value of learning foreign languages? It’s good old, free-enterprise, competitive economics. Leave it to those who claim to love freedom to slam free enterprise.

    Nations with high language facility, in more than one language, do better economically than equal nations without the facility. Knowing the language of the hose nation is an important gesture toward success in economics and politics. You don’t have to be a Harvard graduate to know that. In the past, the U.S. has exploited language facility to do good in the world and for the world, and for the U.S. (see the Paul Theroux quote).

    You’ve never had to negotiate contracts in Japanese, I’ll wager. To play the game, first you need to know the rules.

    Hattip doesn’t know history or literature, it appears. Not the fault of liberals, that’s for sure. How ugly is Hattip’s rant.


  3. Hattip says:

    “I agreed”? What a childish, self-hating, Anti-American little twerp you are.

    You have no idea of how revolting and juvenile you are, do you.

    You should be ashamed of yourself, but you are beyond shame.

    Btw, if it is the case that we “are lucky to learn English here”, you can that the educational system of this nation for that, a system that has been controlled by left-wing Democrats since the new dealers.


Please play nice in the Bathtub -- splash no soap in anyone's eyes. While your e-mail will not show with comments, note that it is our policy not to allow false e-mail addresses. Comments with non-working e-mail addresses may be deleted.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: