GM profits, Tea Party turns to gin

According to the Associated Press, General Motors turned a profit of $1.33 billion last quarter.  “Billion,” with a b.

Tea Partiers and Republicans have made a run on liquor stores to stock up on gin for the afternoon.  News is turning against them.

First, they argued that the Obama administration was crazy to try to save GM.  Couldn’t be done, won’t work.  Cutting 3 million workers loose in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio and Texas would help depress the market for migrant fruit pickers in those states, the Republicans argued implicitly — and that would help reduce immigration troubles, which bug Republicans chiefly because it’s a sign of good economic times for working people.

Second, they argued that Obama had effectively nationalized GM and Chrysler.  Nationalized companies rarely turn profits (except for tin-pot dictators).  The simple reporting of a profit by the company reiterates the point that the GM rescue was not “socialism,” and was no nationalizing of the company.  Obama starts to look like a hero, Tea Party dreams start to look like wet tea leaves.

Third, it means Tea Party self-enrollees may actually have to buy American.  They had hoped to kill off the U.S. auto industry, so no one would complain when they drove Mercedes, Lexus, and the Kia they bought for their nephew.   Now, with Cadillacs, Chryslers and Lincolns still being made, they have no excuse.

Fourth, it means there are three million voters in the American midwest who owe their jobs to Obama.  While at least of million of those people may be convinced to buy the Tea Party Home Lobotomy Kit and vote against Democrats in the fall, the odds of even half of that group being suckered in are slight.

Fifth, and most important, GM’s showing a profit pulls the cloak from the platform of the Tea Partiers, and all that’s left is a naked guy with skinny legs and a sore need for a tanning bed and exercise.   The Tea Party works on being against stuff.  If they had to actually come up with a workable program for anything, they’d quickly be exposed.

So, that gut at the end of the bar finishing the fifth of gin and mumbling a lot?  He’s a Tea Partier, praying for Chrysler to crash.  Tell the bartender he is picking up your tab.

Tip of the old scrub brush to Jim Stanley.

5 Responses to GM profits, Tea Party turns to gin

  1. Shelley says:

    Of course the hovering spirit in my work is FDR, but it’s interesting to compare our grandparents’ time to ours. Out here in California, there has been a definite crash. Just started reading The Promise about Obama–very enlightening.


  2. […] GM pulls a profit, not mentioned is that they did so primarily selling SUVs and … if the Feds dump $50billion […]


  3. […] GM pulls a profit, not mentioned is that they did so primarily selling SUVs and … if the Feds dump $50billion […]


  4. jsojourner says:

    Ed says, “Tea Partiers and Republicans have made a run on liquor stores to stock up on gin for the afternoon.”

    Grrr. Don’t you DARE say anything negative about gin!

    (Thanks for the tip of the scrub brush. And my wife thanks you. It just reminded me of some housework I promised I would help with…)


  5. Nick K says:

    Oh Morgan, perhaps you can explain again how the country would have been better off with the Chinese, Japanese and car makers from other countries being the only ones making cars?

    Except for Ford would have been left as the only American car company. Though I doubt that would have lasted. Anyways, Morgan, care to explain why we should let even more American manufacturing jobs disappear in the name of “protecting capitalism”?

    Or are you willing to admit that your party hates the Middle class and is hell bent on finishing its attempt to destroy it?


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