Tea Partiers and Republicans have made a run on liquor stores to stock up on gin for the afternoon. News is turning against them.
First, they argued that the Obama administration was crazy to try to save GM. Couldn’t be done, won’t work. Cutting 3 million workers loose in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio and Texas would help depress the market for migrant fruit pickers in those states, the Republicans argued implicitly — and that would help reduce immigration troubles, which bug Republicans chiefly because it’s a sign of good economic times for working people.
Second, they argued that Obama had effectively nationalized GM and Chrysler. Nationalized companies rarely turn profits (except for tin-pot dictators). The simple reporting of a profit by the company reiterates the point that the GM rescue was not “socialism,” and was no nationalizing of the company. Obama starts to look like a hero, Tea Party dreams start to look like wet tea leaves.
Third, it means Tea Party self-enrollees may actually have to buy American. They had hoped to kill off the U.S. auto industry, so no one would complain when they drove Mercedes, Lexus, and the Kia they bought for their nephew. Now, with Cadillacs, Chryslers and Lincolns still being made, they have no excuse.
Fourth, it means there are three million voters in the American midwest who owe their jobs to Obama. While at least of million of those people may be convinced to buy the Tea Party Home Lobotomy Kit and vote against Democrats in the fall, the odds of even half of that group being suckered in are slight.
Fifth, and most important, GM’s showing a profit pulls the cloak from the platform of the Tea Partiers, and all that’s left is a naked guy with skinny legs and a sore need for a tanning bed and exercise. The Tea Party works on being against stuff. If they had to actually come up with a workable program for anything, they’d quickly be exposed.
So, that gut at the end of the bar finishing the fifth of gin and mumbling a lot? He’s a Tea Partier, praying for Chrysler to crash. Tell the bartender he is picking up your tab.
Tip of the old scrub brush to Jim Stanley.